Barely Breathing

It's downright horrifying how much power a song can have over us.  Kind of like people.  Although I got the title of this entry from a current pop sliver that I cannot get enough of, it is also ironically appropriate as it's the name of a one hit wonder that defined my teen years.  And I haven't felt more teenaged in years.

I was in my car today--they do that a lot in New Jersey--and I got an urge to listen to a song.  No idea which, probably the one I named this entry after.  If I were in any other situation, I could probably have gotten access to the song within seconds, but I was in my 2000 Saturn with only the CDs I'd burned, and this song was not on them.

As I sat at a stop sign, my mind racing, desperately trying to come up with a way to hear this song, I realized I had to let it go.  I would be late for my appointment if I went home and burned it.  All I wanted in my life at that moment was to be swallowed up by this song, to blast it and let it consume me.  I would have practically sold my soul for the next three minutes to be filled with this song.  It really made me think of other things I'll have to let go.  Things I've already let go.

Songs, like people, don't always give us what we want, and it can seem literally like the edge of a cliff that we would surely jump off to hear it, to see them.  But there are other songs.  And that's what I did.  I picked another song, took a deep breath, and pressed play. I didn't enjoy it at first, in fact it was painful.  But after a few minutes, I forgot how badly I wanted the first one, and I could breathe again.