Tonight was the first night that watching Epic Mealtime didn't borderline turn me on. To the contrary, it actually made me sort of sad and I couldn't really enjoy it, especially as I focused on the lack of gratitude those buffoons have for their food. Not once are they like, "Wow, Baconator EggMcMuffin Pizza Lasagna, you are freaking delicious"--and they should.
Maybe it's because they are drunk and are just concentrating on not puking. Which brings me to the next thing I realized:
It must epically suck to go sober. I say this because I'm not even an alcoholic, and I enjoy booze so much--be it a sloppy hoppy beer, a glam rockstar vodka redbull kick, or a classy glass of wine--that I could not imagine life without it. To rely on something so heavily that you go out of control to the point of rehab, only to have that TAKEN AWAY must be an abysmal realization. Means you were running from something worse than the rest of us.
Back to me, I got too cocky tonight. The Hashers (hash.org) were all doing a bar crawl in Venice so I figured, it's my last night of the cleanse, why not bike over and say hi. I was immediately offered 4 kinds of sausage and 3 different pitchers of beer, and I knew it was probably a mistake. I didn't want to offend anyone, but Hashers are like Italians in that if you're not eating or drinking to excess in their presence, you must be unhappy.
Seeing them was nice--for the first 15 minutes. Then the smell of bratwurst and the golden, crisped to perfection hashbrowns got to be too much. As was my moodiness which had managed to skyrocket in a matter of minutes upon entering the next bar and realizing that no one was going to stop offering me beer until I was drinking one--and that was not happening. So I left.
Being able to have fun in a social situation where drinking is involved but I am sober is not something I enjoy doing. I realize this makes me sound like an alcoholic. But I'm not. I would just prefer the ritual of holding the drink, even if it's just one, and feeling integrated with the group--not standing on the sidelines like a schoolgirl tattling on the cool kids for not including you in their game.
To wrap this up:
Pros of the Cleanse have been=deeper sleep, confidence that I can do pretty much anything no matter how uncomfortable, and a renewed appreciation for food; AND being super excited to try all these new healthy recipes like lentil burgers (thanks Jenn), banana pudding, healthy nachos, and homemade sushi!
Cons=I'm bored out of my motherf*cking skull.
I will of course be reporting in tomorrow when I figure out what it's like to chew again. That is if I don't immediately throw up as YouTube will have me believe. Granted these testimonials were Master Cleanse people after TEN days of not eating, but apparently a SIP OF ORANGE JUICE was enough to send one girl's stomach into fits of WHAT THE EFF ARE YOU DOING TO ME.
But we all know I have a stomach of steel so I am not worried.
Thanks for following me and--for those of you who have seen me clean a plate--having faith in me.
Until tomorrow...
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